1203 I tried to be bad

The news reported that UCLA students were caught trying to paint “UCLA” on the USC football field. This brought back a memory of a prank from over 30 years ago.

In my senior year, we had a football game against our rival Lakewood High. It was a couple of weeks away, but some friends had an idea to make a big “splash” to make our senior year memorable. We decided to “paint” a block “J” (our high school was named for David Starr Jordan) at the 50-yard line of their football field.

My father owned and operated a garden center, so I volunteered to arrange to “borrow” some lawn paint (in winter, some people painted their dormant bermudagrass green, rather than overseed it with annual ryegrass). As I was reading the label for application instructions, one of the “old” (now that I think about it, he was in his mid-thirties) employees asked some pointed questions to figure out what I was using it for.

I couldn’t lie very well, and he figured it out. He told me that if the lawn paint was applied to live grass, then the paint would kill it. I told him that I couldn’t think of another option.

He suggested using a liquid fertilizer. I told him about the time constraint. He suggested diluting urea (51% nitrogen) in water. Because of its high nitrogen content, urea is fast-acting. Plus, as a liquid, the chances of burning were extremely small. I asked how I’d be able to get it right without a stencil. He suggested forming an outline with sand, and then pouring the liquid inside the outline. If there was enough time, the sand could be spread with the foot and it wouldn’t harm anything.

I told the others about this and they agreed. After all, no one wanted to damage or destroy anything.

The Friday night before the game, several guys walked up to the front of Lakewood High (we couldn’t get access to the football field) and poured sand in the form of a block “J”, then walked fast to their cars and left. About 10 minutes later, the rest of us walked up to the same location, spotted the outline, and proceeded to pour the liquid into the outline. We were about to scatter the sand when someone spotted headlights coming down the street. We ran to our cars and took off.

I had some friends at Lakewood High, and they told me the rest. The principal arrived early on Monday, saw the sand and had a custodian rake it away. He thought that if that was the best that could be done, then the football game would be a sure win.

The next day, the grass grew in the form of a block “J”. More so than the surrounding grass. The principal called the sheriff and said that he wanted to file a vandalism charge. A deputy drove up, took one look at the “J”, and then told the principal that he couldn’t file a vandalism charge because nothing was damaged. The principal asked what he could do. The deputy said that he could apply a grass killer, but then he would be damaging his own property. Besides, the grass killer would take at least 3-4 days to work (remember, this was 1977), and the football game would be over by then. He could have a custodian mow it, but there would be no guarantee that it wouldn’t grow back. Or he could just live with it. With that said, the deputy left.

The principal had a custodian mow it, but the “J” grew back the next day. He couldn’t justify the time it took to have it mowed again, so he had a custodian fertilize the grass around it, hoping that it would work fast enough to obliterate the “J”. It didn’t.

The “J” was still there on the day of the big game. Although I didn’t admit it, our principal told me to tell whoever did it that he got a kick out of it. He said that the most that he could figure was that I was somehow involved.

Hours spent looking at my reflection in the mirror (then and now) couldn’t figure that one out.