1031 blast from the past

I went to my physical therapy session today, and my PT was dressed as a tourist, since it was Halloween. She was wearing a blonde wig, glasses, a hat, a floral print shirt, leis, and shorts. She put on makeup to look like she was sunburned. Her co-workers didn’t recognize her and I didn’t either, until she started talking.

Someone asked her about the shirt. She said that she picked it up at a thrift store for a few bucks. This reminded me of a story, which I’d like to share.

About ten years ago, they were celebrating an 80s Day at work, so everyone was encouraged to dress 80s-style. All of the women had Madonna in mind, but the only thing us guys could think of was the TV show “Miami Vice”.

The day came by and I found myself at work with an associate, and both of us were dressed like Sonny Crockett, complete with linen pants, a pastel shirt, an unlined jacket with the sleeves rolled up, and loafers.

My associate (he was about 24 years old) was asked where he got the stuff. He said that he had to go to about four thrift stores to find all the stuff, but it was worth it. My friends turned to me and asked me the same question.

My answer? It all came from the back of my closet. My friends asked what else was in my closet. I told them that they were welcome to look, but I needed an hour to stash the platform shoes and leisure suits.

1028 chili special

I was cleaning up around my exercise area when I came across a flyer for the SBCC Men’s Ministry Chili Cookoff, which was last month. A memory came to mind which I will now share with you (whether you like it or not).

Many, many years ago, my girlfriend invited me over for lunch. When I arrived, she directed me to the dining room table as lunch was almost ready. As I sat down, I noticed three place settings so I asked, “Who’s joining us?”

My girlfriend replied from the kitchen “My little sister.”

As if by cue, the sister bounded into the room and sat down at the table. She picked up a spoon and said, “Smells good! What is it?”

My girlfriend replied, “It’s chili. With Jim’s favorite food.”

The little sister looked at me and asked, “What’s your favorite food?”

I looked blankly at the little sister and said, “It’s boysenberry jam, but she’s not that crazy.”

The little sister looked at me, put down the spoon, and said, “You don’t know my sister. Good luck.” As she left the table, she called out, “I forgot. I have to read a book for school.” Then she left the room.

I sat for a few moments, then went in the kitchen and offered to help. On the counter were three empty cans of chili and an empty jar of Knott’s Boysenberry Jam. My girlfriend said, “Thanks for the offer, but it’s ready.” With that she moved to the dining room and gave me a full bowl of her “chili”.

Did I eat it? Of course I did. I may be stupid, but I’m not that stupid.

Fortunately, the chili taste overpowered the boysenberry, but the seeds were noticeable. It’s the first (and only) time that I had a chili that was crunchy.

1027 eagle eye

I went out to see a movie with my friend, John M, and saw “Eagle Eye”. I was getting some candy at the concession stand, and I pulled out a wad of $1 bills to pay the attendant. While counting out the amount it came to, I thought about the last time so many $1 bills gave me a night of fun.

I was thinking of the bingo booth at the Gardena Obon.

What were you thinking of?

1024 wake-up message

Today I saw that a friend from high school was told by her son that she’s too old to be on Facebook. I wasn’t aware of an age limit.

Kids these days. Geez. Reminds me of a conversation I had with a young friend last Christmas. She wanted to go shopping, but the Internet was down, so she couldn’t find out what time a store opened.

I suggested that she call directory assistance, to get the phone number of the store, then call the store to find out what time they opened.

I thought the solution was simple. But that’s when I found out I was a caveman.

*sigh*

1021 sins and the family

Liz picked me up for the Biola seminar and we were on our way. We arrived a little early so we stopped by the Common Grounds cafe so that she could grab a mocha. I didn’t have one as I needed a plausible alibi, in case I nodded off during the speaker, since I don't have a column to hide behind, like the one at SBCC.

She gave me a brief tour of the visible campus (mainly the buildings we saw between the auditorium and the cafe) and I shared a story, which I would like to share with you now.

Years ago (okay, early 80s) I attended Cal Poly Pomona. About fifteen years later, I returned there for a two-day conference. On the second day, I ran into a guy who instructed several of my classes. When I was a student, he was a part-time lecturer. But now he was a full-time professor.

He asked me if I had a chance to look at the campus. I told him I did, but nothing changed much except for a new building in the quad. He smiled and told me that was the faculty office building, and his office was in there. I asked him if he liked it. He replied “yes and no”.

Yes and no? I asked for clarification. He said that the building was much nicer than the trailer he had been in for seven years. Then, he smiled and told me the rest.

Apparently, Cal Poly wanted it known that they were on the cutting edge of environmental design, so they had an open design competition for an “environmentally-friendly” building. At the time, that was a new concept.

The winning design used a lot of “new” ideas to incorporate solar energy, natural lighting, natural heating and recycled building materials. The result was a building that was tall and sat on a square base.

During the initial phase of the construction, the administration didn’t like the way the building was orientated, so they had the contractor turn the building around 180 degrees. This was possible because the base was square. But they didn’t consult the architect or the design team.

That’s why the solar panels were facing north. The completed building had to be retrofitted with heating, lighting, and standard electrical power. The end-cost was higher than the original budget and the building could not be used by the Cal Poly publicity office. It was the joke of the environmental design community for many years.

Tonight’s guest speaker was Judy TenElshof, PhD, a Professor of Spirituality and Marriage and Family, and she spoke on “Transforming Family Experience In The Family Of God”. One of the concepts she raised was that the problem today in family relationships is not only that we are tempted by sins in the same way that Eve was, rather where she was tempted, we now live. She concluded her talk with the four characteristics of a spiritually disciplined family: covenant commitment, grace, empowerment, and intimacy.

I found it interesting that Judy and her husband founded the Hilltop Renewal Center for Christian Leaders.

1019 a day with ching

Ching and I spent some time together today to just talk. We included breakfast in our plans as I haven’t had anything other than cereal for the past several months. I was looking forward to eggs, bacon, and pancakes (soaking in maple syrup). It must be all those IHOP commercials.

We ended up at Denny’s, one of our old hang-outs. I ordered the Lumberjack Slam and she got the All-American Slam. But I waited for the inevitable substitutions. Sure enough, she subbed some of the items for other stuff.

It reminded me of the time we were out late but she had a craving for a chocolate sundae. The place we stopped at didn’t have it, but they did have banana splits. So she ordered a banana split but asked them to hold the banana. Also, could they change the scoops of strawberry and chocolate ice creams to vanilla ice cream? And instead of the strawberry and pineapple syrups, could they just make it all chocolate syrup? Can you believe that they actually did it?

After breakfast (brunch?) we headed to the Town Center and caught a matinee of “W”. It was an interesting story of the life of George W. Bush, as told by Oliver Stone. The portrayal by Thandie Newton of Condoleezza Rice was uncanny, and there was a moment when Josh Brolin looked in a mirror, and I thought I saw James Brolin looking back.

When the movie was over, I wheeled into a restroom (the movie was over two hours). I must have been taking a long time because she was organizing a search and rescue team when I came out.

We adjourned to a nearby Starbucks for some liquid refreshment. As we were sitting at a table on the patio, Ching told me that a guy was staring at her. “Quick,” she said, “act like we’re married.”

My response was “I’m already not touching you. Do you want me to ignore you too?” She just laughed and said that maybe she should be appreciative that someone was looking at her. The alternative would be that no one would pay any attention to her. She asked me what it was like.

We called it a day around 4pm.

1014 clam discipleship

Liz came by to pick me up for the speaker series at Biola, but she was earlier than I expected. We made arrangements to go early, so we could get something to eat. I asked her to come by around 4:30pm. Imagine my surprise when she rang the doorbell at 3:00pm! I was in the bathroom at the time.

We left the house at 4:00pm and drove around (literally!) La Mirada. We had gone too far when we realized that the shopping center we were heading for was actually a park. We ended up at a Sizzler. I was reminded of a story, which I will now share with you.

Many years ago (ok, thirty-four, give or take a month or two) I was involved in a weekend campout with some younger scouts (yes, hard to believe, I was a Boy Scout) to help them train for their Camping and Cooking merit badges. The campout was at a Scout Reservation in Long Beach, so we weren’t backcountry or far from civilization.

We (there were about a half-dozen of us “senior” scouts) coached them on how to set-up their tents and campfires. When it came time to cook dinner, each one of them created a menu and we judged them on how they accomplished their tasks, including clean-up.

Once everything was squared away and the campsite was cleaned up, we dismissed them for a few hours while we had our own dinner. It was mid-summer, it was still light out, and the younger scouts wanted to chase the squirrels around the reservation property. So we told them to run around and have fun.

That’s when we “senior” scouts hiked about four blocks to have dinner at the nearby Sizzler. We thought we got away with it until the scoutmaster found out and gave us a verbal disciplining. Something about not setting a good example. But all I could think about was how good the shrimp lagostino was.

I had ordered the Fisherman’s Platter, which came with fish, shrimp, and clam. As I ate it, Liz asked me what clam tastes like. I took a bite, thought for a moment, and told her that “it takes like clam”. She just rolled her eyes. What did I say?

We made it to the lecture hall. The guest speaker was supposed to be Bruce Demarest, Professor of Christian Theology and Spiritual Formation at the Denver Seminary. But he was unable to make it for health reasons. Replacing him was Bill Hull, author and a former pastor who now runs the website “ChooseTheLife.com”, and he spoke about exploring a faith that embraces discipleship.

Jesus gave us the Great Commission (in Matthew 28:19) that reads “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

We have no problems with baptizing people, but churches fail to make disciples in the world.

What do you think? And what do you think clam tastes like? Please feel free to comment.

1007 the catastrophe of following jesus

Liz invited me to attend a speaker series at Biola (Bible Institute Of Los Angeles). The guest speaker tonight was Steve Porter, an Associate Professor of Philosophy and Theology, and he talked about “The Catastrophe of Following Jesus”. This was the third in a series of six from the Institute of Spiritual Formation, but I missed the first two.

The talk was about the complacency of Christ followers and the misconception of our self-identity. We feel that we’re more peaceful and that our lives are in order, but that’s part of the misconception. Actually, we should be viewed by others as more challenged in our daily lives, as we are all sinners trying our best to live our lives according to Christ. None of us are perfect, and we shouldn’t be in the eyes of those around us.

1006 keeping the flu away

A friend sent me a joke today and I’d like to share it.

The church organist was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease."

"Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter'

1004 son of a ditch

My father dropped me off at SBCC in time for the evening service. Tyler was the guest worship leader again, but this time he was backed up by the Legacy (high school ministry) worship team. It was great to watch them play.

Pastor Gary continued his “Man vs Wild” series, with this week’s episode of “Surviving the Blahs”. He talked about a story from 2 Kings 3, about a trip by the kings of Israel, Judah, and Edom (along with their armies), to attack the king and country of Moab.. At one point, they became lost and ran out of water. They sought advice from the prophet Elisha, who instructed them to dig ditches throughout the valley.

Pastor Gary said “valley full of ditches” but my friend, Carol, wasn’t feeling well and was medicated, so she heard something else instead of “ditches”. For her, it changed the whole context of the message. It took us a few minutes to understand her confusion and make the necessary corrections.

After the service, I met with my Bible study group and we discussed the second half of Revelation 13, where the second beast rises out of the land. This is also the part where “666” is identified as the mark of the beast. It was an interesting and fruitful discussion.

1004 cub fan for a day

Go Cubs!

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m a lifelong Dodgers fan. But I’m rooting for the Cubs for Game #3 only. Why? Because my mother has a chance to go to Game #4 on Sunday, but only if the Dodgers lose today.

I really do want her to go. Even if it means rooting for the Cubs for a day.

1003 news flash

My father came over and told me that he had a job for me. After spending most of the afternoon on exercises, I was looking for a distraction. He told me that he was going out for a walk, but the news was coming up with a report and maybe I could get the info for him. I told him I would, thinking that it had to do with the economy or the upcoming presidential election. As he was heading out of the house, he turned and said that it had something to do with Asian Americans and breast cancer.

What?? As if I don’t have any other interests in the world today. Many (read: 20+) years ago, I was demonstrating the proper methods of self-examination techniques for women, in the privacy of their own backseats. But that has changed, along with my focus.

So I watched the news (KABC) and learned something new. Japanese-American women have a higher incidence rate, but Filipino-American women have the highest mortality rate because they don’t get tested. The report said that the reason is mostly cultural. Informational programs this month will target both ethnic groups.

What did my father say when he came back in the house? Nothing. He just sat down and changed the channel to a ballgame.

(sigh)

1001 HB2U Ching!

Ching may be more than ten years younger than me (yes, I’m THAT old!), but she seems to understand me better than anyone. That’s why she’s my best friend. She isn’t afraid of telling me the truth, even if she knows it will be painful, because I prefer hearing the truth over sugar-coated lies anytime.

I found this out one day when I tried dyeing my hair. She was the only one of my friends to tell me I missed a spot on the back of my head. Everyone saw it, but no one said anything. The others thought I wouldn’t want to hear about it.

Today is Ching’s birthday. I remember the first time I met her. A buddy and I were running a weekend bus trip to Mammoth. While my buddy was checking people in, I was filling the coolers at the back of the bus when I saw this giant pillow coming down the aisle. Ching was carrying the pillow in front of her and planned to sleep on the ride up.

Some friends and I were chatting near the front of the bus as we were passing through Bishop. Ching introduced herself and joined in the conversation. She left her boyfriend (there have been many since .... I’ve lost track) asleep in the back. On the pillow, I assume.

We told her what we were planning for future trips. She just sighed, told us it wasn’t rocket science (funny, a few of them were Rockwell engineers), and pointed out the flaws in our plans. She hasn’t changed that way of thinking in the years I’ve known her. I guess that’s what I like about her.

Nowadays, she’s busy in the scrapbooking world. She even got me interested in it for a little while (I think I still have all the stuff), and all I have is an unfinished Jackson Hole album. Maybe I should do that as part of my therapy.

Wherever you are today, Happy Birthday, Ching!