0430 day 3 - time squared

Einstein was once asked to explain his theory of relativity in a manner in which the average layperson would understand. He said, "When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity." Time for God is relative as well. 2 Peter 3:8 tells us “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.”

We need to be aware that our time on this Earth is limited, so we need to make the most of the time that we have. Even less time if we only have a month to live.

What consumes the most of my time each day? I guess I’d say that the most of the time is spent doing therapy exercises, whether it’s walking on the treadmill, stretching and exercises on the stationary grip bar in the bathroom, rolling around in my wheelchair with my left good leg immobilized and my weak right leg doing the pushing/pulling, or stumbling around the house supported by the walker only.

How meaningful is it? Well, if my days were numbered, I’d realize that I’d be dead before I could walk again. I’d stop the therapy and concentrate on spending more quality time with my family and friends.

The 80/20 Principle says that 20 percent of what I do in my life results in 80 percent of my happiness. In general, I don’t agree with it. I think that most of my happiness is generated by most of what I do in life. How about you?

0429 day 2 - roller coaster

I’m not a roller coaster fanatic. Sure. it’s a bit scary, but what I fear most about it is losing my eyeglasses during the ride. So I’ll take my glasses off and put them in my pants pocket. The result is that everything is a blur for me.

I can go on a ride a hundred times, but I can’t tell you what’s around the next bend. Space Mountain is a mystery to me (because it’s in the dark) and I know that when I sense daylight, Splash Mountain is about to plunge. I understand that they put the Abominable Snowman on the Matterhorn, but I can’t tell you for certain.

That’s it. I have faith that the ride engineers have foreseen potential problems so I just enjoy the ride. It’s the same way with living a life according to God’s will. Have faith that God will guide you properly and let Him take control.

You’ll experience life like never before. Sure, there will be scary parts along the way. But God has a plan.

What is my biggest regret? Not coming to know God’s love sooner. I was far from him in my 20s and early 30s, but He never gave up on me. It took an emotional crisis about thirteen years ago (I’m 48 now) for me to find my way back to Him.

0429 hmm

I met June for my PT appointment and the workout was a combination of walking, stationary exercises, and stretching. She gave me some at-home exercises to work on.

0428 day 1 - living the dash

We’ve been encouraged to keep a journal while reading “One Month To Live”. I’ll use my blog as my journal because my life is an open book and I have nothing to hide. Plus, the thought that what I learn would eventually collect dust if entered in a paper journal. But here, it would be available to anyone who wants to see it. And it may help to bring one more person closer to God. If I die before I expect to, at least this would be my legacy.

“Living the dash” is best explained by taking a trip to a cemetery and reading grave markers. The date of birth and the date of death is separated by a dash. It’s what the dash represents which is important. When I die, I want to be sure that the dash symbolizes that I lived my life as I wanted to. What does the dash mean in your life?

What would I change in my life if I knew I had one month to live? I’d tell the people in my life what they mean to me. Life’s too short to not tell the people close to you what they mean to you.

I’d contact old friends to make sure that we’re still friends. I’d make sure my finances were in order, so as not to be a burden on my family. I’d try to save one more soul for God. I’d ask my friends to celebrate my life, not mourn my death.

How would I like my life to be different after reading the book? I’d like to be more aware of what is really important about my purpose in God’s plan. I know that this isn’t realistic, but being aware is an important step.

I’ll ask bff Ching to check with me in a month to find out how my life has changed.

[05/02 edit] Good catch M. I was thinking the same thing, but that's not what I wrote. Hmmm.

0427 the 30-day challenge

My father dropped me off at SBCC in time for the second service. I came during opening worship, so I found a seat in the back.

Pastor Gary started a new series called “One Month To Live”, which is based on a book of the same name, co-written by Kerry & Chris Shook. They founded the Fellowship of The Woodlands near Houston, Texas in 1993 and the church has grown to 15,000.

During a staff retreat, they asked “If you knew you had one month to live, how would you live differently?” The results were amazing and they put what was learned in the book. So SBCC will be taking the "30-day challenge"and reading the book as a daily devotional, and Pastor Gary’s messages over the next five weekends will tie it all together.

He spoke about living our lives knowing that our time on earth is short. But only God knows how long each of us will live and when we will die. We need to prepare ourselves to leave at any time because once we do, whether or not we expect it, we will not have a chance to make any changes or do anything differently.

He illustrated this with a near-death experience that Steve T had a few weeks ago. Steve spoke about being in the middle of a multi-car incident where he saw cars flying towards him, but landing on either side of him. Pastor Gary showed some press photos from the accident.

After the service, I made my way to the kitchen, where I found the other members of my lifegroup. Four of us (Liz, Jennifer, Eric, and myself) met and discussed the first part of lesson nineteen. Sheri joined us after her KidzKrew meeting was over, and Stephanie was able to join us later. Only Sam and Wendi were not able to make it.

My father picked me up around 3:30pm.

0426 hot

sweaty

0425 the sign says it all

Nothing else needs to be said. The owner of this sign knew what he was talking about, eh?

0424

Ttt

0422 pt workout

June had me review my home exercises as we tried a step and step-over exercise in the hallway of the Rehab center, in order to develop strength in my right leg.

0420 tired

Since I attended last night’s service, I only needed to go to SBCC for my lifegroup meeting after second service. I had my father drop me off before noon and I slowly made my way up the ramp and found a place to lean in the lobby.

When the service let out, I made my way to the kitchen, where I found Koinonia cleaning up for Hospitality (it was the third Sunday). After the clean-up was done, we met in the Dugout. That’s when we realized that Liz was not around. “Didn’t she go to Chris’ last night?” someone asked. “Yes, but Chris was at second service” was the response. “Well, maybe she went out afterwards,” someone suggested.

Sam decided to call her up and find out if we needed to wait. After a brief chat, he hung up and told us that she was on her way (it sounded like he woke her up), so we decided to hold off on the review of lesson eighteen and just chatted until she got there.

She arrived and we were able to finish up lesson eighteen and had time to share until we ended close to 3:30pm. Sam gave me a ride home.

0419 saturday

Jim Y came by in the morning for our weekly walk in the park. I tried to make it the whole way this time without the AFO, but only made it about two-thirds before I called it quits due to arm fatigue.

We had lunch at Subway again, but this time I walked into the shop. Gave everything a different point-of-view. Had a little problem sitting down and getting back up again, but that will get easier with time.

Jim dropped me off at home and I rested for a few hours in order to go to church later

My father dropped me off for the evening service at SBCC and I stumbled up the ramp and chatted with Pastor Ken. I bought the devotional book that would be used in the new series beginning next weekend. I then headed inside the sanctuary to find a sat for the evening service.

Pastor Gary ended his “Hostage” series with a sermon on God’s amazing grace and that we don’t deserve His love and forgiveness, but He gives it to us because we believe in Him. The Hula Ministry performed a dance to “Amazing Grace” at the close of the service.

Afterwards, I went to the kitchen and Steve T got me a plate of the supper being served.

The Member’s meeting began at 7pm, and I sat with Koinonia to support the induction of Wendi and Jen as new members. But before we got down to business, Pastor Ken had to play a game in order to break the ice, so to speak. He used the game of “Outburst!” (no surprise there ... it must have been the 10th time for that format) as the basis for his questions.

After the fun, it was time for business. Pastor Gary talked about where the church is headed and its continued growth. We might have to add on a fourth service to keep up with it.

We also heard updates from Life Guards, Kidzkrew, Pantry and Prayer Room.

Then it was time to welcome the new members. Jennifer and Wendi were both called up. Our lifegroup sat in a single row and when Pastor Gary asked Jennifer what brought her to SBCC, we cheered and held up signs that spelled “GO JEN!” When it got to be Wendi’s turn to speak, we did the same thing, but spelled “GO WEN!” Eric had made one card with a “J” on one side and a “W” on the other. Afterwards, Liz commented that they now have letters to spell out “JIM”, too. Hmmm ... hadn’t thought about that. Maybe I can confiscate one of the letters if I get my hands on them.

The meeting ended after sharing in communion and a closing prayer. We had some dessert and beverages. Liz headed out to Chris’ place for some pizza. I chatted a bit with Eric & Jen before Steve gave me a ride home.

0418 lions and tigers and bears ... oh my!

I found this warning while researching some travel ideas. It reminded me of an experience I had about twenty-five years ago.

A friend and I had decided to go on a day hike at O’Neill Park in southern Orange County. Okay, it was a former girlfriend. It was midweek so the park was lightly populated. We parked in an almost-empty parking lot and looked at a trail map I had brought along.

The trailhead was at the other end of the lot, next to a big white sign that we couldn’t read from where we were. The trail ended close to where we parked, so we decided to walk the trail backwards.

We spent a couple of hours in the park, encountering very few other hikers along the way. We climbed a lot of hills and crossed a couple of streams. It was a nice day – not too hot or sunny.

As we reached the end of the trail, we could see the parking lot and the back of the large white sign. As we passed the sign, we turned around to read it and see what we missed.

It was a warning to use the park with caution, as mountain lion activity was unusually high. She told me that she thought she was being watched on one of the hills. I reminded her that she gets the same feeling while walking through the mall. As we drove off we shared a laugh.

0417 out of breath

Rebecca made up for calling in sick last week by working me out twice as much. By the time we finished the one-hour therapy session, I was stepping up onto a raised platform with both feet and was weaving around the hallway with just a cane. She promised a much more fulfilling workout next week. I think I’ll call in dead.

0416 balanced entry

I found this photo on the Internet, while just cruising around (it beats wasting time looking for apricots). In all fairness to the women out there, even we men have our moments. Like the German man who filled up his tank, paid for the gas, then walked home, leaving his car at the gas station. You can read about it here.

0415 taxing workout

June gave me a list of exercises to do at home, but she made sure I knew what was expected by going through each one, no matter how hard it was. Forward leg raises, backward leg curls, sideways leg sweeps, toe lifts (one foot at a time), forward and sideways arm raises, and navigating my wheelchair with just my right foot only (no hands or left foot). Plus, the regular sit-to-stand exercises and knee bends that I’m already doing. She also suggested walking the treadmill without the AFO, by keeping the speed low and increasing the duration. A lot to work on.

0414 limitations

Talking with Wendi yesterday made me think about the restrictions placed on my body by the stroke. The “use it or lose it” concept is important, but so is coming to the realization of my own limitations. I like the graphic above. It says it all, doesn’t it?

0413 sunny and hot

It was a hot day! My father dropped me off at SBCC and I stumbled my way up the ramp to the welcome coolness of the lobby and the sanctuary. I found a seat by the column on the right side and settled in for the second service.

Jim Y and Cary put on a short drama to promote the Servants Heart ministry. It was very entertaining, but put out the right message for recruitment. Liz was the emcee and talked about some of the upcoming activities at SBCC.

Pastor Gary continued his series “Hostage” with a sermon about acknowledging who we are and being aware of it. It’s an important step in breaking free of the hold that our sins have on us. We must realize the existence of the sin and that we belong to God. Romans 14:8 reads “If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.”

After the service (and three attempts), I pushed my fat butt out of the chair and made my way out to the lobby. On the way, I stopped briefly at the tech booth to talk with Ed and Nathan.

I made my way to the Dugout, where I met the rest of Koinonia. Jen & Eric were absent due to a talk that Jen was giving at her former church. Sam was not feeling well, so he called in to say that he would not be attending. That left just five of us (myself, Sheri, Liz, Wendi and Stephanie). We skipped the lesson eighteen review and just talked about what was going on in our lives.

Time flew by. Before we knew it, it was 3pm. We walked outside but my father was running a little late, so we found a shady spot and just chatted. Wendi (my favorite OT) gave me a “use it or lose it” pep talk.

My father picked me up and I was home by 4pm.

0410 no therapy today

I got an early call from Rebecca and this morning’s PT session was cancelled, so I settled into doing my home exercises and a long day at home.

0409 just a bad dream

Last night, I dreamt I was walking through a forest. It was night and dark, but I didn’t feel frightened. Suddenly, something grabbed my foot. I jumped and called out, and found myself awake in my bed. I wondered if I made any noise at all.

My thoughts were answered with he approach of footsteps in the dark. In a minute, two concerned, but sleepy, eyes were looking at me. It was the family dog, Jett, who was sleeping in an adjacent room. I reached out, scratched his chin, patted his head, and told him that everything was okay. He sighed and gave me a look that said, “false alarm” before turning around to go back to the other room.

I was wearing my BiPAP full face mask, so I must have been pretty loud for him to hear it. Then I heard footsteps from another part of the house. My father joined me a moment later and asked if I was okay. For a moment, I thought about scratching his chin and patting his head, but it would have made him angry, so I sat up and we talked for a couple of minutes.

He told me to go back to sleep and headed off to his bed. While I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, I could hear the dog snoring in the other room.

0408 therapy

June gave me quite a workout today. We started off with stretching the Achilles’ tendon of my right foot, then a brief walk on the treadmill at the therapy gym. June tried to increase the speed, but ended up increasing the incline instead. We ended up the session with sets of leg exercises in the hallway.

0405 trying not to fall

My father dropped me off at SBCC for the evening service, and from that moment until I made it home about five hours later, I was totally free of my wheelchair (which was at home, collecting dust). I stumbled around SBCC with the aid of my walker. My PT suggested that I should get more time walking on my own feet, so what better way to do so.

It took me about thirty minutes to get up the ramp and through the front door. I was greeted by Pastor Ken, who let me into the sanctuary early to find a seat. I found a good place by the column on the right, which allowed me to park the walker against the column while I settled into one of the comfy padded seats.

Pastor Gary continued his series on “Hostage”, speaking about how we need to confess our sins to God in order to overcome the hold they have on us.

After the service, I met with my Bible study group. We’ve been going through the book of Revelation, but because of scheduling conflicts, we don’t expect to finish until the middle of 2009. You see, we only meet on the first and third Saturdays, after the evening service. But the study group is made up of the same people that get asked to run classes. In fact, tonight’s meeting is the first one for 2008, and our last one was in August 2007.

We met in the kitchen, and it was myself, Mike & Carol, Judy, Steve T, Lillian Y, John M and Kiyomi. We welcomed Karen, who we hope will become a regular of this group. Judy was the facilitator and she started with a brief review before jumping in to our study of Revelation 9, verses 13 to 21, the Sixth Trumpet.

Steve gave me a ride home.

0401 no phooling

I normally have PT on Tuesday mornings, but Cal State Long Beach is on Spring Break, so my therapy is off for just this week. I did some walking exercise and some stretching.

Last year, April 1st was a Sunday, and it marked my first trip to SBCC since the stroke. It was a special occasion ... Liz was going to be baptized during the service. Now, Liz had been baptized already at her former church, but this was her way of expressing her continued commitment to Christ for those of us at SBCC.

I remember that Sam picked me up from home, then we found a place in the front row at SBCC. We were joined by the rest of Koinonia and we cheered loudly when she entered the baptismal tub.

I took a few photos with my phone camera, but the resolution isn’t great. Fortunately, Wendi also took pictures that were much more clear. You can compare them on the right

After the service, we all went to Sea Empress in Pacific Square for dim sum. I thought I would get a chance to eat some delicacies I’d missed while at the hospital. But Eric sat on my right, and Wendi sat on my left, and both were self-appointed food guardians that supervised my meal. I remember reaching for a bao, only to watch the plate moving farther away as one of them said, “That’s hard to swallow. Try a shrimp ball instead.”

But I found that if I just waited until both of them were distracted by eating or conversation, I could help myself to anything on the table.